Pet peeves

Updated: Dec 7, 2019

I have had a particularly bleak week.

This post is a good ol' rant to let off some steam at the expense of others.

Feel free to give it a pass or jump on the bandwagon.

pet peeve (noun)

/pet ˈpiv/

Annoyances that infuriate you but others find them to be no big a deal.

Here are my top 25 :

1. English medium educated imbeciles speaking sentences such as - 'I was like, yas queen! This is literally lit AF tho'.

2. English medium educated imbeciles who equate fluency in one language with intelligence and self-worth.

3. When both parties are more comfortable conversing in Hindi (or their mother tongue) yet resort to using their half-assed broken English kyun ki point 2.

4. I swear this is the last point on language. People who pretend to have a foreign accent. It's you and not कर्म (cuhr-maa for you) who is a bitch.

5. Emojis are great. But, only about 25 of them. The only time you should be using 💫👯💯in a conversation is when your previous message was 'Yas queen' - in that case you are already beyond repair. My sympathies.

6. YouTubers who make a living from subpar tech review videos, reaction videos or prank videos. Mumbai Girls Dancing To Saat Samundar Paar | GONE VERY WRONG| MUST WATCH |. Namaskar doston aaj mai le kar aaya hoon...STFU!

7. Any one read this post in 2019 like here. Kon Kon 2020 mai bhi mera blog dekhega? Only true fans will comment 👇👇👇👇👇👇(Modi is a rox).

8. Instagram. The whole of it. I hate it. #Hollow. #Superficial. #Pretentious.

#photooftheday #instamood #wanderlust #throwback #amazing #fun #wow

9. Those filters which give you dog ears, flower wreaths and sparkles in exchange for 10 points off your IQ.

10. Crazy foodies who live to eat and won't shut up about how 'Biryani is bae'.

11. People who click photos all time (worse, ask you to take pictures of them) instead of actually enjoying the moment for once.

12. And of course, the deadly combination of the two above - fetish of taking pictures of the meal they are about to have. Such an instant turn off.

14. People who are anti-scientific, irrational, superstitious and believe in silly things like not writing down point 13. because it is unlucky.

15. Movies that are absolute garbage but are widely acclaimed because they are artsy or intellectual. 'The Hurt Locker', I'm looking at you.

16. Superhero movies. All style no substance (with the exception of the original Spider-Man, Nolan's trilogy, Deadpool and Joker). And WTF is the premise of the Batman vs Superman movie? Superman should grab hold of Batman and fly off to outer space. Batman dies of hypoxia and the film's over in about 10 minutes.

17. Putting cake on one's face. Or rather face on one's cake. Please don't do that. It's messy as well as a terrible waste of yummy food.

18. Rap is not poetry. Rap is not music. Except if it's by Baba Sehgal. Then it is both.

19. Cats are evil. They are not your pets. They are your owners.

20. Dhoni was a fantastic player until a few years back. But now he is just a terrible batsman, an overrated finisher and a liability for the team. I have lost count of debates I have had trying to prove this point with facts and figures.

Correction : You can put cake, if it is on Dhoni.

21. Royal Enfield and the other bikes which make a thunderous cacophony as they drive by. How I wish to slap the rider with the intensity of a thousand suns.

22. Smoking in public places. My blood pressure just shot up thinking about it.

23. Hero worshipping a celebrity and fanboying over a brand.

24. People who talk confidently about things they know dangerously little about.

25. Opinionated bloggers who have this strong urge to tell the world what their pet peeves are. Those gatekeepers think they are being witty. I literally hate them, like for real tho.

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